In this Mid April Energy Update 2021 we discuss the energetic themes midway through April, which deal with surrendering the spiritual ego. We said earlier in the month that April would see the crucifixion of our egos. Many of us have been cycling through old identities, trying them on then tossing them away. However, now we are being called to release that last identity we will ever have, that of the spiritual ego.

Transformation comes at its own time. We cannot rush it. The Buddha spent years of seeking and engaging in spiritual practices and austerities before finally giving up. After years of efforting his way to enlightenment he realized he had done everything he could do, and finally surrendered his spiritual ego. It was in that state of surrender that enlightenment found him, siting patiently under the bodhi tree.

Enlightenment like reality itself is paradoxical in nature. Spiritual practices and austerities prepared the Buddha for enlightenment, but in the end the spiritual ego of the seeker had to be cast off in order for the seeker to become a finder. We do our spiritual practices and austerities to prepare ourselves for enlightenment. But in the end even the ego of the one who does these things and seeks enlightenment must be cast off.

The spiritual ego is the last to go, but ultimately it too must be cast off in order for the soul to surrender to all that it is. The soul surrenders not knowing what comes next, moving beyond the known and unknown, to the unknowable. We are moving beyond mind and words. We are moving towards the unknowable.

We have to let go of any sense of grasping. Even the grasping towards enlightenment. As long as there is grasping there is a separate self. There is a mind. There is a separate self which cannot experience the fullness of enlightenment.

We are in the gap between worlds. We have no sense of direction. No sense of what choices and possibilities are ahead. We are in a space of pure potential. The Divine Mother is on her cosmic birth bed, fully surrendered to the process of birthing the new. Relax into not knowing. Something sacred is about to be born. But its birth requires our surrender to the unknowable.