I have always disliked autobiographies. They require the creation of a somebodiness that is not quite real. As soon as I create an image of myself for others to see, I recognize its falsehood and have to let it go.
I was born in the foothills of the Appalachian mountains in the eastern United States. I grew up poor and was raised by a single mother. I went off to college where I majored in Philosophy and graduated with honors. After graduating I went to law school, and have been a practicing attorney since 2011.
These are the outward biographical facts of my life, which makeup my social identity. But the most important thing to know about me is that I am a lover of god in all of god’s infinite and varied expressions and forms.
In 2012, soon after passing the bar and beginning my legal career, I had a kundalini rising experience that has forever changed the trajectory of my life. One day while sitting at my desk I happened upon a mainstream article on quantum physics that postulated consciousness is integral to matter and not emergent. Or in other words, that the universe is a great thought rather than a great clock and that our separateness is an illusion.
This was enough to give me intellectual permission in that moment to believe that all is one. I then looked at my secretary at the time and thought to myself, “You too are me.” Making that affirmation and believing it was enough to open my heart wide open for the first time in my life. After a lifetime of lovelessness and separation, I felt boundless love and connection to all beings. I felt energy running throughout my body and down my spine like bolts of lightening made of bliss, and found my sense of self had vanished.
For several weeks I was awash in this egoless state of bliss and love. I barely ate. I barely slept. I wept that the grass had to bend beneath my feet.
Then after several weeks my ego, that little sense of being separate, slowly started to reassert itself, though now about 80% reduced from its original stature. It didn’t take long for that little voice in my head to start wondering what had just happened to me.
I have spent the intervening years studying the perennial wisdom tradition of the world’s religions, while deepening and expanding my initial awakening through spiritual practices. The kundalini energy, once awakened, begins a process of rising up through the chakras and purifying the mind/body/soul of all that impedes its flow.
I have spent most of the last decade purifying and transmuting everything in my awareness that stands between me and the ever new bliss of union with god. That work is far from over, and requires constant dedication and practice, but it has become the only thing I wish to do.
Though I am not a perfect being, spirit has been moving me over the last few years to share more of whatever wisdom and grace I have been given with others.